My Path

Sometimes we all could use a time out.  A moment to step away from a situation or a person  we are having a conflict with so that we can cool off and regain our focus and be calm.  But while we are in the midst of strife or conflict, the last thing we can usually manage to do is, sweetly tell the person we are fighting with, that we will be right back to continue the argument when we no longer feel like arguing.
The best way to avoid ending up in an uncomfortable situation that forces you into combat, verbal or emotional, is to just agree with others on every subject.  Unfortunately, in reality, that is just not possible.  Even the most laid back agreeable person will find themselves disagreeing, sometimes heatedly, with another person.  It’s perfectly normal to feel passionately about something and find yourself defending it to the point of getting angry.  But what determines your strength of character is how you handle yourself when you are feeling at your worst.
Whether or not the person you are having a conflict with, agrees or subscribes to the idea of having rules in an argument, you should have standards high enough to keep yourself aware that there should be a few.
The way you behave during arguments within your romantic relationship should reflect your adherence to the rules you impose upon yourself restraint during any other argument, and then some.  Ideally, you are friends with your significant other, as well as lovers, so there should be a double dose of caution used when you find yourself in a nasty debate or disagreement.
An excellent rule that should be on the top of the list, is the rule of never going away angry, or at the very least, angrily.  You cannot control the way you feel.  None of us can, as much as we would love to.  But you have complete control of what you do and how you react.  When you are in the middle of a disagreement or confrontation, and you feel that all progress in resolving it has halted, it’s time to take some time away from the situation.  For some people it’s possible for them to remain in the same house or space, for others, one has to leave.  This will only work if the one leaving is not using the leaving as a weapon to further their cause in the fight.  If you leave and don’t give a time you will be back, or you leave and make it seem like you will be doing something destructive while you are gone, you are not fighting fair.  You are going away in anger and betraying the other person’s trust in you.
When you go to take your time out, make sure that you say where you will go and when you will come back, or at least give a time when you two will talk again to try and resolve the issue.  It’s a good idea to let the person know that your feelings haven’t changed just because of a fight.  What you don’t have to do is force yourself to act like you are not still angry if you are, but you can still be respectful and kind.  Another good rule is to never go to bed angry.  But if you do, at least you know that you behaved with love and respect, and that should be enough to let both of you sleep well.