My Path

At some point in each day we are exposed to something that desensitizes us on some level.  There are so many things constantly vying for our attention, our money, and our time.  In order to stand apart from all the rest of the competition, the competitors have to really go all out, and most of the time, overboard to be seen and heard by us.  What does all this continuous flow of over the top stimulus mean for us?  We find ourselves becoming overwhelmed and desensitized.

Desensitization means a slow but steady decline in our ability to process thoughts, visual cues, and behaviors proportionate to their intensity.  In other words, it starts taking more and more to catch our attention and interest.  This numbness in our brains does not stay contained to only our thoughts; every aspect of our personality and spirit are often affected at the same time.  Some people think of it as having a thick skin, or as a natural part of the maturation process.  But there are some exceptionally unfortunate consequences for the person who allows themselves to remain at this level of disconnect.

Some level of disassociation, from the negative things or situations that we face in life, is healthy and necessary for self preservation.  But when it gets to the point of spilling over into the parts of our lives that are pleasurable and starts to affect our relationships with people who are important to us, it becomes self destructive and isolating.

It may seem impossible to truly escape the barrage of damaging images and polluted information that seems to be thrust upon us during the normal course of everyday life.  But just becoming aware that this is taking place, and the how it is affecting the quality of our lives, is the first step towards awakening our senses once again.

One of the first and most important steps that we can take to gain our sense of feeling back is physically, and emotionally blocking all things, that we recognize as being things that we would not have previously seen as common.  News broadcasts and television shows that routinely present images that are graphic and disturbing should not be viewed anymore.  Viewing disturbing images on a consistent basis sends the message to our brains that these things are not really disturbing and our ability to feel empathy decreases.  Regularly exposing ourselves to pornography inhibits our sense of intimacy associated with sex, and if not stopped, can cause us to become unable to find excitement in loving stable relationships.
Getting pleasure out of life everyday is what everybody strives for, but if we allow our brains to become trained to recognize only the extreme, in any situation, as pleasurable, anything less will leave us feeling empty and unsatisfied.  Our need for more stimulation will grow as our overall satisfaction with our life will diminish.

The good news is that reprogramming our thoughts is possible if we commit ourselves to doing it.  Once we get back in the habit of keeping our attention trained on the things in our life that make us happy, we will start to notice that it takes much less to impress us, and everything else will just become outrageous background noise.

Birth control is now taken like the common vitamin. Most people forget that they do have serious side effects. Birth control pills first emerged around the 1800’s. They were only available to the rich and later the middle class. The most common form of birth control was the “pulling out” method where the male pulled out at the time of ejaculation. Now they have 20 different kinds of birth control available to the world.

The most common side effects of birth control pills are weight gain, acne, dizziness, vaginal infections, headaches, high blood pressure, and loss of libido, blood clots, stroke, liver tumors (rare), heart attacks, gall stone, and cervical cancer. That’s a little scary! There are so many diseases and cancers emerging day by day and yet everyone seems to be confused. No one reconsidered medications that have been introduced since the 19th century. It takes a long time to see the long term effects of medication. Medication is usually released after they clear short term side effects. Time can only tell what could happen later from effects of the medication. Just take a look at the new diseases that have emerged since then.

On the up side birth control has helped control the population increase. More and more people are becoming “responsible” in the sense of reproduction. There are now 6.23 billion people accounted for in the world and an estimated 9.1 billion by the year 2050. Birth control is helping with this rapid increase. Birth control is also available to the under privileged. It is becoming harder and harder to raise children so birth control can be a beneficial tool for them. Teen pregnancies are also prevented.

Some other forms of birth control and contraceptives include the depo shot, diaphragms, spermicides, cervical caps, female condoms, barrier methods, and condoms. All of these are effective but not a full 100%/ The only 100% effective birth control is abstinence. Some women have a good account of their cycle days to keep them from getting pregnant. A woman on a 28 day cycle will be the fertile anywhere from 12-14 days after the last day of their period. She can use this method to know when and when not to have sexual relations to try and avoid conception.

Either way that a couple decides to go, it should be talked over and understood the risks involved with using contraceptives. It is also recommended to speak with your children about the consequences of sex and they should be educated on contraceptives. Prevention and understanding is the best birth control. If that doesn’t work, then work at a day care for a month. Baby sit a colic baby, it’s the best form of birth control known!

One of the first places people look when they are trying find ways to be healthier is their diet.  The diet is a good place to start when looking to improve a person’s overall fitness, from every angle.  Obviously what we eat makes us fat and sick, or it helps us to maintain a good level of fitness.  Some of the food we put into our bodies is not really food at all.  It is packaged as food and consumed as food but it does nothing for our bodies that food is supposed to do.  A healthy diet is one that is geared towards keeping a consistent supply of fuel going into the body to meet all of its internal and external needs.  The fuel that we put into our bodies needs to contain vitamins, minerals, protein, grains, and starches.  This is taught to us in elementary school, but the lesson stops short of explaining the need to space out the intake of this fuel in a reasonable way so that we burn it as efficiently as possible.  A good diet will help us do all the things that we want to do and still allow us to have enough energy to do the things we enjoy doing.

While it was very helpful to be taught the importance of a balanced diet in school, there is the other lesson that most of us learn as we grow:  Man cannot live on food alone.  Man and woman cannot live without food, but it takes more than food to sustain a life that thrives.  Our bodies are a big part of what we are, but they are not all there is to who we are.  Our total health depends on nourishing every part of ourselves.  There are physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional sides to every person.  Every part of us is individual and separate, but is still affected by the state of each of the other parts.  That explains why we can become physically sick when we are emotionally upset.  Likewise, when our bodies are in peril, our minds suffer as greatly or even greater than our bodies will.

Our minds, bodies, and souls are made up of:

The foods we eat.  Nourish your body with all it asks for because that is all it needs.
The things we see.  Only allow into your sight what you are willing to accept into your body.
The experiences we cherish.  Our souls are fed by the love we give and how it returns to fill us.
The energy we share.  Our energy is limitless and therefore can never run out. The more of it we share, the quicker it is replenished.
The passion within us.  Every other part of us will suffer if we allow ourselves to go forward without indulging ourselves with everything that ignites the passion we were born with.

To really live a healthy life style it is necessary to acknowledge every pang of hunger that comes from within us, not only those that come from our bellies.

Number one on the list will easily be a magnificent wedding planner. If you and your husband-to-be are planning this event on a scale of 1-6 months then a planner with a knowledge of the right people, places and schemes will be your number one helper in all of this. Now I know that every woman wants her hands all over the activities involved, but with the stress of this short timed plan you are a lot safer having a friend there to control the big stuff and implement your ideas the way they should be. You are paying them to do a wonderful job, and you will get no less than a great return.

Now don’t run to the phone just yet. You will need to set a few personal guidelines before finding the right planner.

Your best bet, once you are over the shock of the proposal, is to sit down in a quiet place and visualize. Yes, Visualize. You want to get a nice clear vision of what your dream wedding is. So after finding a comfortable spot on the sofa or your bed, just relax for a minute, and begin to see your wedding day in your mind. See the colors, the venue, the outfits, the bows on the chairs, the photographer running around, see as much as you can possibly see, and now follow these guidelines.

Starting from what you have just imagined work backward from the moment you say “I do”. Visualize starting from the big day working backward, imagine seeing:

The arrangements for your hair and make-up, finalizing your seating charts, gathering your beloved jewelry, accessories, and prepare to dazzle. Have your vows written and typed, send out the invitations, prep for your final fittings, have all legal documents ready to go. Have a decision about the photographer, set-up the limo or transportation, get your menu together and wine list prepared, finalize your guest list and place the order for invitations, purchase wedding rings, put order in for your wedding cake and personal favors. Prepare gift registry, have entertainment on calendar (DJ, musicians, ect), decide attendant outfits, and start honeymoon arrangements. Work out the budget, begin the guest list, select your attendants, and find an officiant.

Now, you have ran through the entire ensemble in your mind and given yourself the general idea. Now find the phonebook, dial that number, and select the perfect wedding planner. In less than six months, your big day will be the most amazing day you’ll ever experience. And with the help of your wedding planner you can keep bridezilla at bay!

Sometimes we all could use a time out.  A moment to step away from a situation or a person  we are having a conflict with so that we can cool off and regain our focus and be calm.  But while we are in the midst of strife or conflict, the last thing we can usually manage to do is, sweetly tell the person we are fighting with, that we will be right back to continue the argument when we no longer feel like arguing.
The best way to avoid ending up in an uncomfortable situation that forces you into combat, verbal or emotional, is to just agree with others on every subject.  Unfortunately, in reality, that is just not possible.  Even the most laid back agreeable person will find themselves disagreeing, sometimes heatedly, with another person.  It’s perfectly normal to feel passionately about something and find yourself defending it to the point of getting angry.  But what determines your strength of character is how you handle yourself when you are feeling at your worst.
Whether or not the person you are having a conflict with, agrees or subscribes to the idea of having rules in an argument, you should have standards high enough to keep yourself aware that there should be a few.
The way you behave during arguments within your romantic relationship should reflect your adherence to the rules you impose upon yourself restraint during any other argument, and then some.  Ideally, you are friends with your significant other, as well as lovers, so there should be a double dose of caution used when you find yourself in a nasty debate or disagreement.
An excellent rule that should be on the top of the list, is the rule of never going away angry, or at the very least, angrily.  You cannot control the way you feel.  None of us can, as much as we would love to.  But you have complete control of what you do and how you react.  When you are in the middle of a disagreement or confrontation, and you feel that all progress in resolving it has halted, it’s time to take some time away from the situation.  For some people it’s possible for them to remain in the same house or space, for others, one has to leave.  This will only work if the one leaving is not using the leaving as a weapon to further their cause in the fight.  If you leave and don’t give a time you will be back, or you leave and make it seem like you will be doing something destructive while you are gone, you are not fighting fair.  You are going away in anger and betraying the other person’s trust in you.
When you go to take your time out, make sure that you say where you will go and when you will come back, or at least give a time when you two will talk again to try and resolve the issue.  It’s a good idea to let the person know that your feelings haven’t changed just because of a fight.  What you don’t have to do is force yourself to act like you are not still angry if you are, but you can still be respectful and kind.  Another good rule is to never go to bed angry.  But if you do, at least you know that you behaved with love and respect, and that should be enough to let both of you sleep well.

Men usually don’t admit they love the relaxing effect of a tranquil smelling bath. Beauty products seem to be every woman’s treat. Natural products are becoming more popular and the best part about it is that you can make them in the privacy of your own home. Conditioners and deep conditioners are easy to make and makes your hair happy to be on your head.

Hair is an interesting part of the human body. The difference between blonde fine hair and coarse hair is a central “core” of cells called the medulla. Hair is made up of 3 parts.  Keratin scales called the cuticle, the middle layer called the kortex and the medulla. Hair is all 91% protein and is made up of amino acids. To have healthy and strong hair you need to be balanced in nutrients, vitamins and proteins. A and B vitamins are very important for healthy hair. Hair responds very well to foods that are loaded in B vitamins. A good conditioner should contain these vital vitamins. You can make a vitamin fortified conditioner by using things right out of your kitchen.

While you’re cooking dinner, whip up a few conditioners so that you condition your hair while you cook. One of the best and easiest recipes out of all the conditioners is made up of mayo and an avocado. It’s loaded with B Vitamins and Vitamin E. ½ and avocado and a small jar of mayo will do the trick. Mush is all together until it’s a nice mint green color and apply it to your hair. If you have long hair then all you need is the mixture on the ends of your hair. Once you’ve applied the mixture to your head then saran wrap your hair in plastic for about 20 min. and then rinse. By that time your meal should be ready to serve. That’s the best way to multi task if you ask me!

A second popular recipe to condition your locks is mixing the avocado with some coconut milk. It’s a nice tropical twist to the mixture listed up above. If you really want a treat then pick up some rosemary from your local grocery store. You will need about ½ cup f rosemary and ½ of olive oil. Give yourself a hot oil treatment. Your hair wouldn’t know how to act to so much moisture! Combine all of the ingredients and heat it on the stove until warm. Strain the rosemary out and then apply to your hair. Massage into the scalp, wrap your head in plastic or towel for about 15 min. Do this about twice a month to see dramatic results. It will return life and shine back to your chemically treated and over worked hair.

Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain where you are generating more downer chemicals rather than the uppers. When you add more of those upper chemicals into your body system, you’ll create much more of a balanced reaction which is where your brain and system should be.
    One of the most widely known “upper” chemicals you brain produces is called endorfins. Endorfins are created by your brain, which are then released into and flow down your body, which in turn make you more happy. The way these endorfin  are created is by simply exercising. Have you ever noticed that after either you or someone you know is finished with a work out, no matter how short or long, they are tired, but also have a glow and radiating sense of well being? These reactions are due to and created by endorfins. Whether your running, boxing, biking, doing yoga, aerobics, or simple stretches. Anything which is the slightest bit strenuous to you, you will be creating and those endorphins which can and will help you create more happiness.
    Of course one of the hardest things to battle with when living with depression is not having the motivation and having to push yourself to do the simplest tasks. Don’t over work yourself, and yet at the same time, don’t sell yourself short. You may be able and find greater joy in doing so if you’ll simply allow yourself to try. To think of the end result, of that happy, lifted up, and fulfilled rather than down, low, or saddened, will always help you to get moving.   
    Working with a partner is helpful in more ways than one. You will have someone there to challenge you, support you, and to also watch out for your safety. With two or more people, it’s much easier to get used to working out and can be a fun activity with a friend or family member. You don’t need a partner, due keep in mind you can always do simple activities on your own and should never feel pressured to only work out when your with another person. Everyone is different and some people prefer to work with others, and others would much rather enjoy the solitude.
    Your work out doesn’t’ need to be scheduled and you definatly need a gym membership.All you really need to do is move and feel your moving. Take a small walk to get you started, enjoy the air. If you like to bike, take a small ride around the neighborhood. When you begin moving around more and more, you will notice you’ll have more energy to do more, feel internally and externally happier, and you will be one step closer to balancing out the chemical imbalance going on in your brain, which will aid you in relieving and even destroying your depression.
    You should as a rule consult your doctor before starting any kind of extensive work out routine as they will be able to work best with your needs, health, as well and monitor you depression and the effects of your exercise on it. You should always be safe! If you will be or plan on working out with heavy materials such a dumbells, work with a partner.